A Fable: The Island of Mean

Once upon a time there lived three brothers, Meanie, Meaner and Moe.
The boys were rude, they were crude, and were mean to everyone
they met. Moe was the youngest and the meanest of them all.

They lived on the Island of Mean where the Mayor was mean, the baker
was mean and the policeman was mean too. As a matter of fact everyone
in the town was mean. When anyone wanted anything they shouted,
“Give it to me now,” unless of course they took it without speaking at all.

Everyone in town stayed up late watching T.V. or playing video games
and they ate lots of candy, cake and potato chips. Every conversation was
an argument and every gathering an outright brawl.

Mama and Papa raised their boys in a house were everyone screamed.
They threw things against the wall and called each other names. At first
the boys were afraid but soon they learned to be as mean as their parents
and in time they got meaner and now they were the terrors of the town.

There was never a “Please,” or a “Thank you,” never an, “Excuse me,”
or “I’m sorry”. They were so mean they wouldn’t even tie their shoelaces.
They didn’t worry if they tripped and skinned their knees or fell and
hit their heads because they were mean, and the pain made them
meaner still.

Now all the kids in town were also mean, but none as mean as these
three. When the boys went to school the other children hid. The
teachers quivered at their desks and sniveled. Even the principal
put on his best scowl but after they left he cried. He didn’t want
anyone to see him because he knew it could ruin his reputation.

The mayor wailed about these boys to the city council, the baker
wept in his dough which stopped it from rising, and the policeman
sobbed when he saw them coming and wanted all three of them in jail.

With everyone crying the roads flooded. People couldn’t get from
here or there. The Island of Mean soon became known to the boys
as the Isle of Too Many Tears.

Meanie, Meaner and Moe, decided it was time to leave the island and
find another place where they could shout and scream and stamp their
feet and scare another group of people. All this weeping in their
homeland was driving them insane and they needed a change.

They found a little sailboat but argued about who would steer and
who would manage the sails. Since Moe was the youngest and meanest
so he got his way and the other two had to deal with it but,
“No wailing,” he said, “or into the water you go!”

They sailed past erupting volcanoes, skimmed over turbulent waters
and traveled for days without sleeping until they stopped right in
the middle of the sea. No wind came to fill their sails, no fish
jumped up for food, no clouds covered the sun and their
fighting, screaming and shouting didn’t help at all.

After several days the sea of calm was broken by a gentle ripple
from a boat with a lovely lady dressed in white. Her face shone
like an angel. Her smile was as bright as the stars.

She glanced at the three brothers and asked, “Do you need help?”

Now Meanie, Meaner and Moe growled and they spat and they shouted,
“Are you blind, can’t you see, we are stuck in the middle of
this ocean? Of course we need your help.”

“Yes, I can see that you need more help than I can give,” she sighed
then glided on and left them alone in the center of the sea. She
disappeared beyond the horizon never looking back at the boys.

They sat that way for three more days and the sun beat on their heads.
Their thirst made them more grouchy but they didn’t even have enough spit
to wet their throats. Just when they thought they would die they
saw the beautiful woman returning.

”Here is some water and food. Here is a tarp to protect you from
the sun. Tie this rope to your boat and I don’t want to hear any
fighting, cussing, or swearing. Do as you’re told or I will leave
and never return.”

Meanie looked at Meaner and snarled. Meaner looked at Moe and frowned.
Moe grimaced in the most horrible fashion but no one uttered a word.
They took the water and gulped it. They gobbled the food without
chewing. Together they worked at setting up the tarp to provide
some shade from the sweltering sun.

Then Moe reached for the rope and tied it carefully to the bow of
their boat and the lady towed them to her island, which lay
just out of sight.

The first thing they noticed were six or maybe ten rainbows in the sky.
They could hear the sounds of children laughing and people singing.
They saw some kids running and playing.
Others walking with their parents, along the seashore.
They glared at each other.

“You’re ugly,” Meanie said to his brothers.

“You smell,” Meaner growled.

“You’re stupid,” Moe chuckled, “but who cares. In a little
while we’ll make them miserable with our very special talents.
She will wish she never rescued us because we’ll make their
lives a living hell.”

When they reached the shore the lady directed her helpers.
“Bathe them and make sure their ears are clean and wash out
their mouths if they say anything mean. Clothe them in clean clothes
and make them take naps in separate rooms but don’t let them come
out until I say so.”

The assistants whisked the boys from the boat and scrubbed them.
Moe was the only one who had to have his mouth washed out with soap.
The words he used were terrible and foul.

Finally, Meanie, Meaner and Moe were dressed in white from their
heads to their feet then placed in separate bedrooms with no T.Vs.
They fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows and they slept
for three days straight.

Meanie was the eldest one and he was never as mean as the other two.
He was the first to awake and called out, “Please let me out.
I’m hungry and thirsty and lonely” Two helpers opened the door
and brought him some food and water and they stayed to visit
for hours. They told him about their wonderful island where people
were kind. They said please and thank you and wanted to help him in
every way they could.

Later Meaner woke and was ready to curse and howl but before he had
a chance to make a loud ruckus every need was filled. He actually
started humming a tune he thought he forgot, and soon he was singing
other songs and laughing at stories his new friends had to tell.

The last one up was Moe, he knew something was different, the sounds
of happiness hurt his ears and made his stomach ache. He shouted and
screamed and tried to fill the space with his meanness but no one
heard him and he was left alone for two more days.

Finally Moe gave up and said, “I’m sorry, I will not shout or scream.
I need some food and something to drink. I want to see my brothers,
I’m lonely.”

When his brothers were called they were cautious but wanted to see Moe
'cause they missed him. They stood outside his door and waited but Moe
didn’t recognize them. Their faces had changed, their hair was combed
and their hands were no longer balled up in tight little fists.

“Who are you?” Moe asked.

“We’re your brothers,” they said.

“You’re different,” he sighed,

“You’re right,” they smiled.

Moe sat on the floor and cried.

Meanie and Meaner walked into his room and each took a hand to escort
him to the finest banquet he had ever seen. When he had eaten and his
tummy was full and he drank enough so his thirst was quenched he said,
“Thank you.” In a little while he was laughing out loud.

He wanted to run and dance and play with his brothers and the other
kids because he didn’t feel mean right now, and in time… not at all.

The Moral of the story: Mean begets mean but kindness triumphs