Traveling across the United States I visited cities
with some very strange names
started out in Why, Arizona
after a short stint in Bumpass, Virginia
fell on my face in Mud Lick, Kentucky
found some peace in Weed, New Mexico.
Stopped for breakfast in Hot Coffee, Mississippi
with Two Egg, Florida and Bacon, Georgia
next day I dined in Oatmeal, Texas.
Headed out to Happy Land, Oklahoma
Where I found French Lick, Indiana then
On to Beer Bottle Crossing, Idaho
spent the night in Can Do, North Dakota
before heading off to Hell, Michigan.
This story is not true but the names of the cities
can be found on the map of the United States.
Makes me wonder about the people
who lived there and named those cities.
Maybe they were a band
of perfectly named professionals
like Mel Slaughter, the butcher
or Allen Cockburn, the urologist
they met with Sue Yoo, the local lawyer
and Will Mankiller, the marine.
Karl Krook, the used car salesman
was probably at the meeting too
along with the cardinal Jaime Sin
and the music teacher, Linda Toot.
Melvin Bonner, the dentist
and Guy Hooker, who owned the local bait shop
might have argued with Kim Yoo Suc,
the track and field athlete, before he headed
off to the Olympics in Odd, Virginia.
The must have settled for the name
Loonyville, Texas
because that name is on the map
for anyone interested.
Oliver Loser the homegrown politician
couldn't understand why he never won an election
until he visited Braintree, Massachusetts
and finally saw the big picture.
He wrapped up his political career
leaving the GOP to fend for itself
moving to Poop Out City in California.
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