Friday, July 29, 2011

Big Sister to Baby Sister

















You were born during my adolescence
at a time I should have been exploring
and pushing away
you came suckling and needy
the last of ten and I had no choice
but to take you in.

You were frequently propped upon
my hip, neighbors thought
I was a teenage mother
most of the time it was okay but
at two you pushed me away

and my efforts to get close to you
were met with loud cries so I let you go
ended up getting married at 20
love had it's influence
but it was also good to be on my own
separated from the tumultuous
environment called home.

Events of your growing up
arrived in letters from mom
but with the birth of my own children
there was little time to notice
and now that you’re older you want to bond
your need forces your action

I wish I had more to give
but I’ve raised two kids
and a grand niece as well
I have six grandchildren
and two daughter-in-laws,

I ran two schools with over 600 kids
I think on the scale of generosity I’ve given

all I can give. The well-spring seems empty
so at this time of my life I want to be selfish
and pursue my put-aside dreams
I like to languish in my own thoughts

responding to tasks at my own time
but here you come worn out from life
forcing yourself into mine
pardon me if I need you to live independently

I want you to find your own strength
you want to suckle on a teat

but it has been dry for a long time

I know the economy is a disaster
the possibilities seem non-existent
but every day you must take an action
to give yourself power and a place
to bring your best efforts to full expression.

I appreciate that my house is cleaner
and that you want to prepare my meals
and babysit my grandchildren

all of these are worthwhile things to do
but then how do I fill my time now that I’ve retired?
You need to find something to do for yourself
formulate your own goals you’re young enough

and smart enough. The challenges will not be easy
I’m willing to give you a resting place in the storm
but like any rescuer I can’t risk my own life
if you’re forcing me underwater
in order to survive you need to be strong.

We can both make it if we try.

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